The First Of Many Last Lists

If the title is confusing, join the club. I was trying to find a way to beat the usual "best and worst" lists that seem to pop-up everywhere. And I believe I did this last year or the year before. Whatever, here's the first of the last year. (Oh, that's where the blog title came from).

THINGS TO NEVER DO AT A COMPANY HOLIDAY PARTY LIST

1. Tell the Boss to stop hitting on your girlfriend before you hit him.
2. Try and have an intelligent conversation.
3. If you're a guy, stay away from the hot, young & drunk young.
4. If you're a female, the above doesn't apply to you. For many reasons. Talk amongst yourselves.
5. Show up an hour early. Why? See #3.
6. Tell ghost stories.
7. Forget that EVERYONE has some sort of recording device at their fingertips.
8. Drunk Tweet. (Has somewhat replaced drunk dialing).
9. Drunk Text. (See above).
10. Start drinking at 3pm for an 8pm party. (See #7 above).
11. Mix beer with wine with tequila.
12. Tell someone they look very familiar. Only to realize they are your boss' boss.
13. Ask someone who they are with at your party––when they work in the same place as you. On the same account/project.
14. Talk someones head off who you have never talked to before. (There must be a reason you two never talked before. Sometimes a very good one that you may never know).
15. Compare your party to the party at your last job.
16. Bring someone you're interested in but haven't sealed the deal with yet. Chances are, you may not leave together.