Saturday, November 14, 2009

Keepin' It Real

I'm a big fan of Chris Rock. Ever since I saw him in Boomerang––he played Bony T, a guy in the mail room––and I'm Gonna Git U Sucka––"how much for just one rib?"––I try to catch everything he does.

It's been two years since my last cancer treatment. Sometimes it feels as if it never happened. Other times, I remember every little detail. The pain. The needles. The blisters all over my face. The look of fear on my family's face. There's a part of me that wants to forget it ever happened. There's a bigger part of me that will never forget. Why? Because it reminds me that every day counts. That there is more to life than deadlines, winning new business and getting upset when the Trojans, Lakers, Dodgers or Kings lose a game. That every day I don't enjoy being alive, is a day wasted.

I went to my ENT, Dr. Lee, on Thursday. Dr. Lee is a life saver. She's one of those tough-on-the-outside people––she's a surgeon––who I love to get to crack a smile. Over the last two years, she's been the Doctor I've seen the most. I've even made her smile and laugh. And this time, she made me cry. Not because she was mean or gave me bad news. Quite the opposite. She told me everything looks perfect. I don't have to come and see her every 4 months. I've "graduated" to every six months. I'm taking care of myself––along with my Wife being the angel she is––and I need to make sure I keep it up.

cancer taught me a valuable lesson––life is measured in the moment you're living in. You control whether it's a good or bad day. You make decisions––or don't––that mark the moments. I have lost that, lately. Me. I'm the one. And I don't like it. And I can do something about it.

I can keep it real.