Friday, April 30, 2010


Stream of consciousness. Inspired by a night with other survivors.

Why did cancer happen to me?
Why did I survive?
Why don't people understand the change in me?
Why isn't there a cure?
Why do insurance companies deny my insurance randomly?
Why am I more emotional than before cancer?
Why do I take the things I love for granted?
Why do I sometimes take the people I love for granted?
Why can't I sleep more than 4 hours at a time?
Why do 1.5 million people every year live with cancer?
Why don't caregivers get more credit for all they do?
Why do I wonder when cancer will show up somewhere in or on my body?
Why don't I get a less stressful job?
Why do people take me for granted?
Why can't people in general be less judgmental?
Why was it that I only could taste cinnamon and corn during radiation and chemo?
Why do I still have a hole in my stomach from where my feeding tube was stuck in my body?
Why is chemo brain soooooo loooooooooooonnnnnnnngggggg?
Why does ice cream have a different taste to me now?
Why can't I make all the voices I did before the cancer?
Why do I love watching my Grandsons play baseball, instead of me coaching them on the filed?
Why do I keep asking why?
Why can't I just accept and move forward?
Why did it take me 2 weeks to post?