Monday, March 5, 2012

Looking Back In Order To Move Forward

I'm a big believer in milestones. Those moments that happen by design or just because you were in the right place at the right time––or wrong place at the wrong time, wrong place at the right time and right time at the wrong place. They count.

I was diagnosed last week benign fasciculation syndrome. While it sounds bad, it's actually better than I thought it would be––BFS is a "diagnosis of exclusion", which scares the hell outta anyone. Why? Because when the nasty letters start to appear on screen––ALS, MS, MD––it can increase the levels of BFS. What is really is, is STRESS. Anxiety. Fatigue. So because of a compromised autoimmune system due to cancer and those lovely treatments, stress becomes the silent attacker. And stress is where we are currently in the "preventative" arena of keeping cancer away in our bodies.

Thank you very fucking much, stress. You have done it again. Or should I say, I have done it to myself again. My life is always an adventure or misadventure away, so you would think I could handle anything. But my human side is showing. The last 6 months have been extra tough, watching my Mother die a slow and painful death, dealing with her fractured estate and having each of my children go through one painful experience after another. But hey, it could be worse, right? I've been to hell and back.

Time to let it go.