Thursday, November 27, 2008


For my Wife.
For my Children, Adam, Ryan, Travis & Kaity.
For Lucas & Eli.
For family.
For my Mom, Dad, Angie, Wanda, Shan, Chris, Jeff and Marina.
For the God given ability to think.
For the little things.
For having a good job. (Any job, for that matter).
For having the strength to beat cancer. Twice.
For making the right decisions at the right time.
For having the intuition that I knew I had cancer––even before my diagnosis.
For good people to work with.
For best friends––Fred, Ben, Ted, Larry, Francis, Tom, & Jim.
For the opportunity to be there for others who are battling cancer.
For the love I receive every day.
For remembering all the pain––physical, emotional & mental––from my treatment.
For never forgetting how fragile life really is.
For having a new perspective.
For JB, Cap, Stevie Ramone, Andy, Lisa, Marcia, Rob, Paul, VW, Ally, Aimee, Jill, Leah, Chris, Juanita, Reem, JP, Richard, Kristin––KS & KF––Rachel, Nancy, the whole CS/DI and Sheri, who really is an angel.
For those who are fighting for our freedom.
For being alive to write this today.
Happy Thanksgiving.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

87 @ 29

My Son, Adam, is 29 today. His Grandfather called him today and told him, "you can't be 29 because I'm not that old." It was a nice generational connection, as my Dad––Adam's Grandfather––and I had just talked last night. And my Dad said the same thing to me.

Being the oldest of my four kids, I knew Adam would be the most outwardly concerned of all of them. He's a Dad. A great Dad. And I saw him go through a ton of emotions through my diagnosis, treatments and various other surgeries and attacks on my body. My kids had never seen me sick for more than a day or so. And this was cancer, not the flu.

I especially watched as Adam was looking to help his Mom, my Wife. Not really knowing what to do but just be there, share his love and try to be a rock 'cause Dad's in pretty bad shape. And that's all that was needed. We just needed to be together as much as we could as a family. I know it was hard for Lucas and Eli to not be able to wrestle––or "wrassel" as Teresa calls it––with me for about a year. Having the boys around me helped me a lot.

I'm so grateful to God that Adam came into my life. He's a wonderful Son. And a lot like me––more than I think he even realizes, ha! It was great spending time with the family tonight. Even got to see Sarah, too. cancer gives you a new set of eyes, helping you see the love in family. Sure, there's going to be some strange shit, but it's your strange shit. And there's some strange pride of ownership thing going on.

So here's to you, Adam. Those who know you will know what 87 means. (Did that come out right?). It's the 29 that's obvious. Happy 29th Birthday. But you can't be 29.

I'm not that old.