Thursday, July 30, 2009

Sound Of Music

No, this is not about singing on a hill with Julie Andrews.

I was walking into work today and heard someone playing the harmonica. Sounded a lot like Bob Dylan's The Times They Are A-Changing, so I had to look and see who was playing. It was a woman. A woman who lived on the street. She was dressed in all white––at least it was all white at one time––and had her head back and eyes closed as she whaled away on the "harp".

I was both stunned and in awe. Stunned that someone in such dire straits was playing with a happy soul. In awe of her talent. She didn't seem to have a care in the world. She didn't seem to mind that she was drawing attention to herself. Maybe that was what she was trying to do––make people notice her. And people did. Scowls, mouths opening and people walking the other way to avoid her. I just kept heading straight to get something to eat. And then snapped out of my self-induced funk as I kept thinking about The Harmonica Lady.

It's funny how certain events, experiences and quick glimpses of life make you stop and think. I've been thinking about my future. Today. Tomorrow. Next year. I have a PET Scan coming up in 3 weeks. It will be 2 years since my cancer diagnosis, next week. I feel the best I've felt physically in a very long time––about 2 years. But my mental state of mind has been fragile. Questioning. Wondering. Searching. Am I close to "beating" cancer? Will it come back? Have I changed through all this for the better or worse? As I said, lots on my mind.

The sound of the harmonica woke me up. The vision of someone who is in such dire straits snapped my ass back to reality. I have it really good. Really, really good. I'm alive. I have a wonderful family. I have a great job. What the hell is wrong with you, Greg?

I just needed to stop and listen to the music. And enjoy life's special little moments.

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