Friday, January 14, 2011

Chasing Energy

I've been on an extremely challenging "road" the last two months. I've been traveling way too much and working 18 hours days.

I'm trying to be very careful of how much I work. But the same drive and passion I put into my work is the very same drive and passion that helped me make it through the hell of cancer. Thank God I have the greatest Wife in the world who keeps reminding me that I'm not Superman and I need to take care of myself––so much so, that I hear her voice even though she's not physically with me. The struggle to find a balance is constant for all of us. For me, it sometimes seems as if I'm trying to get as much as I can done today because I know that tomorrow I may not be of this Earth.

Yeah, I know that sounds weird––and don't freak out, I totally plan on waking up tomorrow. In Pittsburgh,  if you can believe that. But it's a drive that keeps me going and is also draining my energy at the same time. (Yeah, I know I'm fucked up in the head). I have this overwhelming feeling of missing something. And when death is crawling around in your body looking to take over any minute, that can be the first step to letting my resistance down. I need energy. Not in a 5-hour bottle. Not in a bull can that tastes like bull shit. I need to find the energy in the only place it can be.

Where the hell is that?

2 comments:

Jmarls80 said...

I'm ruled by this feeling too. Let me know if you find that source of energy. :)

Greg Johnston said...

I usually find it in cups with sleeves. But that wasn't working then.