Wins & Losses

I was reading the other day that Kyle Williams of the San Francisco 49ers had received death threats after his performance in the NFC Championship game. Kyle Williams is the Son of former Major Leaguer and current Chicago White Sox General Manager, Ken Williams––and Ken was the one who revealed this information about his Son.

All I could think about was, "really?"

No one understands what it is to be die-hard fan of your home team than I do. For me, sports kept me out of trouble––most of the time––and was my escape from a single-parent household, gangs and the awkwardness that each and everyone one of us goes through as we grow up. I learned to read the Sports page with my Father at 4 -years-old. I watched the the NBA Finals as a 7-year-old at my best friend's house as the Celtics beat the Lakers AGAIN and then had to endure the taunts and being berated by my friend's family because I was a Lakers fan––they were from Philly so why would they be rooting for the Celtics?––and ran out of their house screaming and with tears running down my face. I would walk from my house to Dodgers Stadium––a little over 4 miles––as much as I could to go watch the Dodgers play from age 12-15. My Mom would pick me up after the game, as the neighborhoods I walked through were rough enough during the day.

My point is this: life and death is not a sport. And your team's winning or losing should not control your emotions––especially if you are NOT PLAYING in "your team's" game. I really changed my emotional connection to my teams––and I'm a USC, Lakers, Dodgers fan that lives on the East Coast––once I had cancer. Oh I still care and get passionate. But if we really need an emotional connection that makes us feel good, I say try to tell someone you love them. Or give them a hug. Or a kiss. Or give them a call.
As long as you're not threatening anyone.

That's a win, every time.

Why The Long Wait?

I have putting off posting for a while because. (Sounds like an answer we all gave as a kid––"why did you give the cat a haircut, Greg?" "Because").

Here are my "becauses".

Because I've been in a "quote" writing style lately and I'm "all quote marked out".
Because I've been extra cynical. And sarcastic. And a nasty bastard.
Because I have too many things I want to write.
Because I just had another cancerversary and I've already posted about that once. Or twice.
Because I'm still having bouts with chemo brain.
Because computers can't write for me. Yet.
Because of daylight savings.
Because my dog ate my computer.
Because I can't fit it all in 140 characters.
Because life has been so great lately.
Because I don't want to repeat myself.
Because I don't want to repeat myself.
Because I don't want to repeat myself.
Because I want to write a post in Spanish.
Because I'm having to rewrite the document that the client revised––revising their own words. Again.
Because I was waiting for pigs to fly.
Because I was waiting for a monkey to jump out of my butt.
Because I was waiting for money to grow on trees.
Because the Lakers haven't lost since my last post. (Oh crap, now I did it).
Because my Halloween Party has dominated my life outside of work.
Because bullshit walks and money talks.
Because three years after my last cancer treatment, I've been wondering about if the cancer will come back.
Because I'm making a comeback. (Insert ridiculous, unattainable and fantastical comeback here).
Because people need me more than my blog needs me.
Because I promise the next post will have a video, a few links and a picture of Big Foot.
Because.

My 2008 Best/Worst

After reading, viewing and searching thru the millions of "2008 Lists", I thought I'd throw mine out there. So I'm breaking form here––Cap, take note––and post The World According To Greg.

Best Memories

1. Cancer-free news after 6-month check-up. Teresa and I cried for joy together.

2. Skin-cancer free news right before Christmas. Best present not under the tree.

3. Ryan's Championship Ring. Proud of you, Son.

4. Kaity's Graduation, with Adam, Ryan, Travis––all of us––in attendance.

5. Adam getting his first client.

6. Travis getting his first Head Coaching job.

7. Waking up alive every day.

Worst Memories

1. Not having my Grandkids for Thanksgiving.

2. Chemo Brain.

3. The "Emergency Room Visit-Of-The Month".

4. Not being able to eat for 4 days in the hospital, tubes everywhere in my body.

5. Chemo Brain. Oh, I already said that.

Best Simple Moment

1. Smiling at things that used to make me angry.

Worst Single Moment

1. Back in the hospital, 12 hours after I had just left.

Most Historic Event

1. O-ba-ma. O-ba-ma. O-ba-ma.

Least Favorite Historic Event

1. The "C's" beating my Lakers.

Best Song

1. Ne-Yo, "Closer."

Worst Song

1. Too many to choose from.

Best TV Show

1. Supernatural

Worst TV Show

1. Once again, too many to choose from.

Best Time

1. Spending the Holidays with my family.

Worst Time

1. Thinking about whether or not cancer will come back. Every day.

But my best of 2008 is being able to share my innermost thoughts here. I look forward to being able to post another list like this in 2010. 

Thanks for all the love in 2008.

Gifts That Don't Fit Under The Tree

The Holidays always come and go way to fast. The preparation––do we go for full Griswold Family decorations?, can we ALL sit at the same table, who's NOT coming this year?––is overpowering, overwhelming and over before you know.

These last couple of years have taught me more about the Holidays than all my years combined. This time of year used to mean what I call "The Great Human Taffy Pull", in reference to who I spend the Holidays with and where. It happens when you're the product of a divorce. It doesn't get any easier when you get older. It never really goes away. 

This year, I did a lot of looking and listening. My kids––Adam, Ryan, Travis & Kaity––were with Teresa and I, along with our Grand kids, Lucky & Eli. We were also fortunate to have Jen & Joey with us this year. But that meant no Sarah for the first time in at least 10 years. Yes, it was different but it was family, nonetheless. Spending time with those you love––and yes, we all love our families and we all do it in our own dysfunctional way––is what this time of year is really about.

The smiles on the faces of my big kids as they open their gifts, is priceless. The sugar induced running around the house by my little kids brings back countless fond memories and creates new ones. The meal, a wonderful menu of traditional dishes and new explorations, is always flawless. While I did capture most of the day on my Flip cam or digital camera, it's hard to capture the true moment of just being there. After my battles with cancer––and a clean biopsy result just last week from a skin cancer exam––these moments are more special than ever. Somehow, it's too bad that I couldn't have seen this before my cancer.

It was there. I just took it for granted, thinking that we've done this before and we'll do it again, right? We'll open gifts, have a few rounds of adult beverages, eat a big meal, pass out watching the Lakers-Celtics www.latimes.com/sports/basketball/nba/lakers/la-sp-lakers26-2008dec26,0,4885439.story and that will be that until next year. Unless next year never comes, as was the possibility when my cancer diagnosis and treatment almost got the best of me. My life today, is a daily gift. A gift that keeps on giving me so many unforgettable twists and turns, for better and for worse. A gift that never will fit under the tree.

Thank God, it never will.